Story #70

Entering the office, I immediately sensed that something was off. You know the feeling when someone has changed the curtains and they ask you if you see any difference in the room? It was like that, but more intense.

’You’ve been promoted’ my boss yelled from across the room, rushing to meet me. I was confused.
’To what?’
’You’re now our Senior Bananalyst’ she said.
’I’m our banana-what?’
’Senior Bananalyst’

She handed me a one of my business cards. In place of my usual title she had scribbled ’Senior Bananalyst’ and drawn a banana.

I looked around the office, trying to make sense of her words. All the regular work stations, the corner where the programers usually sit, the section with the graphic designers, the economy department, everything had been replaced with rows and rows of desks. And bananas. There were bananas everywhere.

I pulled my phone from my pocket to double check that this wasn’t April first. It wasn’t.

’I don’t… What is going on?’
’I had this great idea yesterday, after you left the office. Bananas.’ she was speaking fast and enthusiastically ’Bananas are great for you. They’re healthy, they taste good and…’ she grabbed a banana and held it up in from of her mouth forming a big banana grin ’they’re FUN!’

’The only problem is…’ she continued ’you can’t always get all the bananas you need. This, I thought, is a problem we can solve. We have the logistical know-how to be able to deliver bananas to any place in the world within 24 hours.’

’Imagine. You’re sitting at home and suddenly you have a craving for a banana. What do you do? Until now, you would’ve been all out of luck but thanks to our Bananawesome service you could be eating your own banana in as little as 24 hours.’

’Also, bananas come pre-packaged from nature. Their peel is like a natural safety case, protecting the goods during transportation. We just need to slap a stamp and an adress on the banana and it’s good to go!’

’So from now on, we’re sending bananas to people. And you are our Senior Bananalyst. Your job is to learn everything about the banana trends. Here, have a banana’.

She handed me a banana. Seconds later it started vibrating. She started giggling.

’Go ahead’ she said ’answer it’.

Wearily I raised the banana to my ear and answered.

’Are you the Senior Bananalyst?’

I looked at my boss. She nodded.

’Yes, I guess I am.’

My boss cheered with excitement and strutted off. I was left talking to a stranger through a banana. I guess it was just one of those days.